In this enlightening blog, Jodi Mallow, an experienced life coach who helps clients move on after divorce shares a profound analogy between her marriage and the unyielding nature of an oak tree. Join her on a journey as she draws lessons from her divorce, illustrating the importance of acceptance, self-awareness, and the true meaning of strength in relationships.
The Unyielding Oak Tree
Divorce is a journey of self-discovery and growth, and as I reflect on my own experience, I can’t help but draw parallels between my ex-husband and an oak tree. In the beginning, I thought of him as strong, sturdy, and majestic. He seemed like the perfect partner to weather life’s storms with. His unwavering strength and the aura of reliability he exuded were comforting. Little did I know that over time, that very strength would transform into rigidity, leaving me constantly yearning for him to see the value in compromise and adaptability.
Acceptance
Despite the frustration I felt, I now understand that there is wisdom in accepting certain things as they are. I realized that for a relationship to thrive, both partners need to be able to bend and sway, just like trees in a forest. Flexibility is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of growth. I longed for conversations that would lead to mutual understanding and compromise, but these were often met with an unwillingness to evolve his opinions and habits. It was like trying to bend an oak branch – impossible and exhausting.
Self-Awareness
In contrast, I learned to be adaptable, like a willow tree that gracefully bends with the wind. Divorce forced me to confront my weaknesses and grow beyond the limitations of my past relationship. I found my strength in accepting that some things, like my ex-husband’s unyielding nature, were beyond my control.
Moving Forward
As time passed, it became clear that our differences were too stark, and our paths had diverged. Divorce was a difficult decision, but it was necessary for both of us to find our paths and allow each other the space to grow independently. While I may have initially been drawn to his strength, I’ve come to realize that true strength lies in the ability to bend without breaking. I had to let go of the idea that he might change, just as an oak tree cannot simply become a willow. Like the oak, our marriage had become rooted in place, unable to adapt to the changing seasons of life.
At Split.fyi, we understand how overwhelming divorce can be and once you make it through the process, you may still feel lost. With self-care, support, and a little strategy, you’ll find freedom and success on the other side. Our Annual Community Members receive a 10% discount off services offered by Jodi Mallow, Positive Waves Life Coach through our website. You can join here if you aren’t already an annual community member.
