It Takes a Village: 4 Key Tips for Raising Children as a Divorced Parent

They say it takes a village to raise children, but what happens when your village changes after a divorce? Whether you’re co-parenting or raising your children alone after your divorce, there are unique challenges that arise. Where, before marriage, you had your partner to share parenting responsibilities with day in and day out, divorce changes that. Even if you share equal custody with your former spouse, there will still be moments when you must fill in the gap in your parenting time. In this article, we share 4 key tips for raising children as a divorced parent.

Not only does the relationship with your former spouse change, but your relationships with their family members and even mutual friends may also change. You may no longer feel comfortable calling your former in-laws and asking them to babysit, for instance. They also may not feel comfortable reaching out to you with an offer to help. The “village” that you once relied on suddenly feels more like a small hamlet.

If your ex fails to stay involved in your children’s lives after the divorce, the weight of parenting on your own can feel incredibly heavy. It’s important to create a new village for yourself, one that is supportive of where you are at in your journey and that you can rely on. We’ve got a few tips to help you find your post-divorce parenting village:

  1. Look to the people already in your children’s lives.

    It’s likely you already know enough people to fill up your village, you just haven’t thought of them in that way before. Teachers, coaches, neighbors, the parents of your children’s friends- all these people already play a role in the lives of your children, and they’ll probably be more than happy to step up and fill some of the gaps left behind after your divorce.

  2. Be open to meeting new people.

    Your divorce is the end of one chapter, but it’s also the beginning of another. You’ll make new friends along the way and may even add members to your family once you are ready to date again. Step-parents, step-siblings, step-aunts/uncles, step-grandparents, etc. can add great value to your life and the lives of your children. The switch from calling them “step-family” to now “bonus family” is gaining steam, and it really showcases the positive aspects of being open to love again after a divorce.

  3. Consider mentorship programs.

    Organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters have been supporting single parents for decades by stepping up to mentor children who could benefit from having a positive role model in their lives. Your local community center may also offer programs designed to enrich the lives of children of divorce.

  4. Find an online community.

    Supporting divorced parents goes beyond an offer to babysit. Divorced parents also need emotional support and help with navigating their new life. Our community is a great place to go for this type of support, and we are unique in that we offer virtual support groups, as well as an experienced group of divorce professionals and resources like blogs, videos, a weekly newsletter filled with helpful tips, a large toolkit library on our website, and more.

The importance of community is never more apparent than after a divorce when your village of support suddenly shrinks. The key to surviving parenthood after a divorce is not being afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone- and you shouldn’t. The support is there, you just need to reach out and take it.

More Resources:

Are you are ready to join our online Communitywe would love to have you! We have several experts in there waiting to help. Plus other divorcees you can connect and share stories with. Remember that you are not alone, even though it might feel like it at times. There are always people ready to support you- simply reach out your hand (or finger if you’re scrolling online!)

We get your struggles… We welcome you to visit our Support hub where we have created an informative and nurturing space using various modalities for you to get educated, emotionally supported and find your way. Our complimentary support groups like Coffee Talk and SOS: Support on Saturdays can be found here, along with many other helpful tools and resources.

Get more of! Straight to your inbox weekly. You’ll be the first to know the best divorce resources, professional advice, upcoming digital and live events, supportive insights, and current divorce pitfalls to avoid. Better ways to live apart are right here. Sign up for the Newsletter.

Essential Resources

If you’re facing legal/custody battles, a mental health crisis, an urgent medical issue, serious emotional problems, including suicidal thoughts, please seek help from the appropriate professionals near you.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Crisis line: 1-800-356-5395
Crisis text line: Text “help” to 741741
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) Resources Marital Life Inventory
Divorce Lifecycle Document
Divorce Process Overview


323 San Vicente Blvd., Unit 1
Santa Monica, 90402

Have a question for us?
Please visit our contact form

Coffee talk:
join our weekly divorce support group hosted every Friday morning at 9 am PST.


Follow Us

Splitfyi, Inc. DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. All information provided should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. Individuals seeking legal or tax advice should solicit the counsel of competent legal or tax professionals knowledgeable about the divorce laws in their own geographical areas.

Copyright © 2022 | All rights reserved


Install our App!

Click the share icon in your browser toolbar, then click “add to home screen” to install our app.