What Is Bird Nesting During Divorce?

For many divorcing parents, the well-being of their children is paramount. Maintaining stability during this tumultuous time is often a top priority. Bird nesting, an innovative co-parenting solution, can offer a sense of continuity for children during divorce. This approach involves the children staying in the family home while the parents rotate in and out according to a predetermined schedule. Parents may choose to rent or buy a separate space for times when they are not with the children, or each parent might have a separate residence.

The Emotional and Practical Benefits of Bird Nesting

The primary advantage of bird nesting is the emotional benefit for the children. By allowing them to remain in the family home, they are spared the disruption of moving between two households. This can be especially beneficial for younger children or those particularly sensitive to change.

Financially, bird nesting can be more economical than maintaining two fully equipped homes. Parents might find it more feasible to rent a smaller apartment for their off-duty times, which can potentially reduce overall living expenses.

Challenges of Bird Nesting

Despite potential savings, financial complications can arise. The costs of maintaining the family home and a separate living space can be a significant consideration. Additionally, issues like who pays for major repairs or how utilities and mortgages are split can lead to conflicts.

From an emotional standpoint, rotating in and out of the marital home can be challenging for parents. Issues of privacy and moving on from the marital relationship while still sharing a common space can be complex and emotionally taxing.

Making Bird Nesting Work

Successful bird nesting requires detailed planning and clear communication. A comprehensive parenting plan should be developed, outlining specifics such as scheduling, financial responsibilities, and rules for the shared home. This plan should be adaptable and regularly reviewed to accommodate changing circumstances and the evolving needs of the children.

Is Bird Nesting Right for You?

Bird nesting isn’t suitable for every family. It works best when parents maintain a cooperative and respectful relationship. Factors like the children’s ages, parents’ financial situations, and the ability to communicate effectively play a crucial role in determining if bird nesting is a viable option.

The Role of Professionals in Bird Nesting Arrangements

Given the complexities involved, it’s crucial to seek guidance from experienced professionals. Divorce mediators and attorneys can provide invaluable assistance in navigating the financial and emotional aspects of bird nesting. They can help draft a comprehensive nesting plan that caters to the unique needs of your family.

Bird nesting in divorce presents a unique set of challenges and benefits. It’s a decision that requires careful consideration, open communication, and often professional guidance. By focusing on the children’s needs and maintaining flexibility, bird nesting can be a successful strategy for navigating the complexities of co-parenting post-divorce.

We encourage those considering this arrangement to discuss it thoroughly with a mediator or divorce attorney to ensure the best outcome for your family.

You can find more help with navigating co-parenting in these blogs:

More Split.fyi Resources:

Are you are ready to join our online Split.fyi Communitywe would love to have you! We have several experts in there waiting to help. Plus other divorcees you can connect and share stories with. Remember that you are not alone, even though it might feel like it at times. There are always people ready to support you- simply reach out your hand (or finger if you’re scrolling online!)

We get your struggles… We welcome you to visit our  Split.fyi Support hub where we have created an informative and nurturing space using various modalities for you to get educated, emotionally supported and find your way. Our complimentary support groups like Coffee Talk and SOS: Support on Saturdays can be found here, along with many other helpful tools and resources.

Get more of Split.fyi! Straight to your inbox weekly. You’ll be the first to know the best divorce resources, professional advice, upcoming digital and live events, supportive insights, and current divorce pitfalls to avoid. Better ways to live apart are right here. Sign up for the Split.fyi Newsletter.

Essential Resources

If you’re facing legal/custody battles, a mental health crisis, an urgent medical issue, serious emotional problems, including suicidal thoughts, please seek help from the appropriate professionals near you.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Crisis line: 1-800-356-5395
Crisis text line: Text “help” to 741741
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)

Split.fyi Resources
Split.fyi Marital Life Inventory
Divorce Lifecycle Document
Divorce Process Overview


323 San Vicente Blvd., Unit 1
Santa Monica, 90402


Have a question for us?
Please visit our contact form

Coffee talk:
join our weekly divorce support group hosted every Friday morning at 9 am PST.


Follow Us

Splitfyi, Inc. DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. All information provided should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. Individuals seeking legal or tax advice should solicit the counsel of competent legal or tax professionals knowledgeable about the divorce laws in their own geographical areas.

Copyright © 2022 Split.fyi | All rights reserved


Install our App!

Click the share icon in your browser toolbar, then click “add to home screen” to install our app.