Protecting Your Heart (and Body) When Dating After Divorce

Jumping back into the dating scene after a divorce can seem overwhelming in many ways. You’ve been hurt, and you definitely don’t want to get hurt again. While nothing can definitively guarantee you’ll avoid a broken heart, there are some things you can do to protect yourself physically and emotionally when dating after divorce. Here are some Dos and Don’ts for protecting your heart (and body) when dating after divorce.

DO: Use common sense safety practices when meeting someone off a dating app

At some point in time, you will likely give dating apps a try. If you connect with someone and decide to meet them in person, make sure you’re doing so safely.

  • Always meet in a public place.
  • Drive yourself so you have an easy get-away.
  • Tell a close friend or family member where you’re going and who you’re meeting.
  • Never tell a stranger where you live (remember until you have vetted them in-person, they are still a stranger, no matter how much texting and video chatting you’ve done).
  • If something seems off, don’t hesitate to leave.

DON’T: Rush the intimacy

Longing for physical touch after divorce is common, especially if intimacy was lacking in your marriage, but rushing the physical side of a relationship too soon can lead to more than just heartbreak. It’s a good idea for both you and your new partner to get tested for STIs and STDs before beginning an intimate relationship. Even if you were married for many years, there is still a chance something has gone undetected during that time (not to mention the possibility of cheating during your marriage).

DO: Have fun and take things slow

Dating after divorce doesn’t have to be scary if you make a commitment to just have fun with it! Set an initial goal to make new friends and open yourself up to new experiences before putting the pressure of labels on it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with casual dating- in fact, it’s one of the best things about the post-divorce life because you have the freedom to spend time with whomever you want!

DON’T: Get your kids involved too quickly

When you really like someone, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of wanting to introduce your new partner to everyone…including your kids. Not only is that a bad idea to do so quickly, but it might also violate your Separation Agreement. Make sure to look it over thoroughly before introducing your significant other to your kids in case there is anything in there stating a timeline for doing so. You don’t want to give your ex any excuse to tamper with your new relationship. Many exes choose to wait at least six months to a year before introducing a significant other.

DO: Remind yourself of how strong you are

Even if you end up with a broken heart (or a health issue because you rushed too quickly into intimacy) remember how strong you are! You have already made it through a divorce- one of the toughest life transitions you could ever go through. You will make it through this, too. Take each setback as an opportunity to learn and evolve into the person you are truly meant to be post-divorce.

BONUS TIP: Keep a journal

Writing down your thoughts after each date can help you figure out what you want and don’t want in a potential partner. How did they make you feel? What positive attributes really stood out about them? Was there anything they did that totally drove you nuts? Compare these answers against a list of non-negotiables to ensure you’re not settling for someone simply out of loneliness. Going through this process can help you recognize any red flags early on. This way you can address them before they become a major problem.

More Resources:

Are you are ready to join our online Communitywe would love to have you! We have several experts in there waiting to help. Plus other divorcees you can connect and share stories with. Remember that you are not alone, even though it might feel like it at times. There are always people ready to support you- simply reach out your hand (or finger if you’re scrolling online!)

We get your struggles… We welcome you to visit our Support hub where we have created an informative and nurturing space using various modalities for you to get educated, emotionally supported and find your way. Our complimentary support groups like Coffee Talk and SOS: Support on Saturdays can be found here, along with many other helpful tools and resources.

Get more of! Straight to your inbox weekly. You’ll be the first to know the best divorce resources, professional advice, upcoming digital and live events, supportive insights, and current divorce pitfalls to avoid. Better ways to live apart are right here. Sign up for the Newsletter.

Essential Resources

If you’re facing legal/custody battles, a mental health crisis, an urgent medical issue, serious emotional problems, including suicidal thoughts, please seek help from the appropriate professionals near you.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Crisis line: 1-800-356-5395
Crisis text line: Text “help” to 741741
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) Resources Marital Life Inventory
Divorce Lifecycle Document
Divorce Process Overview


323 San Vicente Blvd., Unit 1
Santa Monica, 90402

Have a question for us?
Please visit our contact form

Coffee talk:
join our weekly divorce support group hosted every Friday morning at 9 am PST.


Follow Us

Splitfyi, Inc. DOES NOT PROVIDE LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE. All information provided should not be construed or relied upon as legal or tax advice. Individuals seeking legal or tax advice should solicit the counsel of competent legal or tax professionals knowledgeable about the divorce laws in their own geographical areas.

Copyright © 2022 | All rights reserved


Install our App!

Click the share icon in your browser toolbar, then click “add to home screen” to install our app.