How to Survive Your Ex Dragging Out the Divorce

Ideally, a divorce should be a swift and amicable process, but that’s not always the case. As they say, “You’re only as fast as the slowest person.” This saying feels all too relatable when you’re on the precipice of moving forward, and your soon-to-be ex decides to drag their feet every step of the way.

Common Divorce-Stalling Tactics

 From avoiding the service of process to mysteriously becoming too busy to answer emails, there’s a whole arsenal of divorce-stalling tactics one can deploy to drag out the process. Here are some of the most common:

  1. Avoiding Service of Process: Like an elusive ghost, your spouse might suddenly become hard to find when it’s time to be served the papers.
  2. Last-Minute Rescheduling: Get ready for mediation? Oops! They’ve rescheduled at the last moment – again.
  3. Frivolous Motions: These motions serve no purpose other than to frustrate and delay.
  4. Delayed Discovery Responses: When your spouse takes forever to share evidence or details about their witnesses in your case, it’s yet another delay.
  5. Ignoring Communications: The silent treatment isn’t just for arguments. Avoiding phone calls and emails can hinder legal progress.

Why is Your Ex Dragging Out the Divorce?

Your spouse’s reasoning might range from denial about the marriage’s end to sheer revenge. More often than not, fear of what’s next, be it loneliness or unfavorable legal outcomes, drives these divorce-stalling tactics.

Self-Care During the Divorce Marathon

 How do you keep yourself from going insane when you’re ready to move on, and your spouse is laying down roadblocks?

  1. Stay Active: Physical activity like yoga, running, or just walking can help manage stress and boost your mood. Even a good boxing session can help let off some steam.
  2. Build Your Support System: Lean on friends, family, or support groups. Their perspective can offer solace and sometimes even a good laugh over the absurdity of it all. Our Coffee Talk is a great place to go for support and camaraderie!
  3. Seek Professional Help: If things get too tough, a therapist can provide tools and coping strategies.

How to Stay Mentally Sane Amidst the Delays

Navigating the complex maze of divorce can be mentally taxing, especially when faced with divorce-stalling tactics. Here are some ways to keep your sanity intact:

  1. Stay Informed: Understand the tactics your spouse might use and strategize with your lawyer on how to counteract them.
  2. Focus on What You Can Control: While you might not be able to speed up the process, you can control your reactions. Choose to respond, not react.
  3. Establish Boundaries: If your spouse isn’t communicating productively, use your lawyer as a buffer.
  4. Stay Positive: Remember the end goal. This process, however lengthy, will eventually come to an end, and a new chapter of your life will begin.

While dragging out the divorce process can feel like you’re trapped in quicksand, with self-care, support, and a little strategy, you’ll make it to the other side. You got this!

In the meantime, check out these other blogs for support with the divorce process:

More Resources:

Are you are ready to join our online Communitywe would love to have you! We have several experts in there waiting to help. Plus other divorcees you can connect and share stories with. Remember that you are not alone, even though it might feel like it at times. There are always people ready to support you- simply reach out your hand (or finger if you’re scrolling online!)

We get your struggles… We welcome you to visit our Support hub where we have created an informative and nurturing space using various modalities for you to get educated, emotionally supported and find your way. Our complimentary support groups like Coffee Talk and SOS: Support on Saturdays can be found here, along with many other helpful tools and resources.

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Essential Resources

If you’re facing legal/custody battles, a mental health crisis, an urgent medical issue, serious emotional problems, including suicidal thoughts, please seek help from the appropriate professionals near you.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Crisis line: 1-800-356-5395
Crisis text line: Text “help” to 741741
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) Resources Marital Life Inventory
Divorce Lifecycle Document
Divorce Process Overview


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