10 Responses to Disarm a Narcissist

Do you feel like you’re in a losing battle with the narcissist in your life? Dealing with a narcissist is difficult because they never take responsibility for anything and always play the victim. They also thrive on attention- good or bad.

Knowing how to respond to a narcissist is an important skill to have to protect yourself. The next time you find yourself in a confrontation with a narcissist with no way out, give these responses a try:

Responses to Disarm a Narcissist

  1. “Let’s just agree to disagree on this topic.”
  2. “We both have a right to our own opinion.”
  3. “I don’t like how you’re speaking to me, so I’m choosing not to engage with you.”
  4. “This has nothing to do with the issue we’re discussing.”
  5. “Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I’ll consider them.”
  6. “I’m willing to discuss this situation further, but I’m not willing to be disrespected.”
  7. “I can’t control how you feel about me.”
  8. “I know that you’re upset right now, so I suggest we come back to this topic at a later date.”
  9. “Your anger is not my responsibility.”
  10. “Your response is noted.”

While you may not be able to avoid a confrontation with a narcissist, you can control the role you play in the confrontation. Walking away is always the best choice, but sometimes that’s not an option, so it’s important that you know how to respond to stay in control of your emotions and not escalate the situation any further.

A Few Things to Note When Dealing With a Narcissist 

The narcissist’s ego is so big, they will never accept responsibility for the role they are playing in a negative situation. The goal shouldn’t be to get them to apologize or accept responsibility, but rather to minimize the damage done by the confrontation.

When you feel the narcissist pulling you into a confrontation, it’s important to stop it as soon as you can. The longer you engage and allow it to go on, the worse it will be for you. While some of these responses may seem like you’re appeasing the narcissist and feeding their ego, it’s really the only way to get them to disengage so that you can allow yourself the space to regroup.

What If the Phrases Aren’t Working?

If these phrases don’t disarm the narcissist and you feel like you are in danger, seek help. Mental health professionals are trained to deal with narcissistic personality disorder and can provide you with further advice and support. If the narcissist in your life is showing signs of going into a narcissistic rage (e.g. screaming, throwing things, physically harming you or themselves) call 911 or the local authorities. You do not have to subject yourself to this type of abuse.

Seeking more advice on dealing with a narcissist? Check out these helpful resources.

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