Forget the Swipe: Dating After Divorce Without the Apps Like Tinder

Forget the Swipe: Dating After Divorce Without the Apps Like Tinder…

It may seem like the only way to meet people nowadays is on a dating app, and while it is the go-toForget the Swipe Dating After Divorce Without Apps Like Tinder way for many of us, it’s not the only way. Believe it or not, you can still meet potential matches without swiping right. The pandemic has made this a bit tougher, but not impossible. Forget the swipe: dating after divorce without apps like Tinder.

Socialize Safely

The emergence of the COVID-19 vaccination is allowing many of us to get back out there and socialize in a safe way. If you took a break from dating because of the pandemic, but are ready to get back in the saddle, there are safe ways to do that. In addition to the vaccine, masks, and social distancing, there are some places where you can meet people in a safer setting while still finding love:

  • Outdoor concerts
  • Dog park
  • Gym
  • Coffee shop
  • Volunteer or community events
  • Church
  • Wine tours (or other group tours)
  • Classes (cooking, photography, painting…)
  • Networking events
  • Trivia night or karaoke at a local bar

Check the business website or ask the event coordinators prior to going to ensure safety precautions are in place. While COVID has added an extra hurdle to the world of dating after divorce, it is still possible to meet people without downloading an app.

Deploy Your Friends

Most friends (and family members) love setting up their single friends. If your friends have been bugging you about meeting their co-worker, cousin, or that cute friend from the gym, take them up on the offer! Your friend has already done the hard work of vetting your potential match, so take advantage of that and give it a chance.

Even if all you get out of the date is a nice meal and some good conversation, it will get your friend off your case and get you back into the dating scene in a safer way. Meeting a stranger off a dating app can be scary but being set up by a friend who personally knows your date is an added safety feature. Your friends want to see you happy, so they’re not going to set you up with someone who doesn’t measure up to your expectations.

Take a Chance

You’ll never know if you don’t try. Rejection can be hard to handle, especially after a divorce where you may be struggling with some insecurities, but you can’t achieve anything if you don’t take a chance. The love of your life isn’t just going to magically appear in your living room while you’re binge-watching Netflix, so it’s time to branch out and try new things.

Unfortunately, unlike dating apps, it isn’t always obvious whether or not someone is single if you meet them out in public. While it’s always good to check the ring finger, this isn’t a sure bet, either. Put yourself out there and ask! It’s a guarantee that you’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but if you shoot your shot and get rejected, at least you can walk away knowing you tried your best.

If you want to find out if someone is single without directly asking it, try these instead:

“I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Could I take you out sometime?”

            “I recently got back into the dating scene. It’s been interesting. How about you?”

            “Have you listened to any dating podcasts recently?”

            “What’s your favorite place to take someone on a date?”

If they’re seeing someone, they’ll usually include that in their response to these questions. Don’t be afraid to ask them directly if they’re single, though. It’s better to know than to get your hopes up or start flirting with them only to feel awkward after you find out they have a significant other.

Close the Deal

If you’re tired of the endless textationships that result from dating apps, meeting someone in person is the way to go. You’ve already gotten the initial meeting out of the way, so now it’s time to close the deal and not just ask for a date- schedule it!

You can exchange numbers or business cards (even social media handles!), but if you really want to put something secure in place, consider downloading an app like Let’s Do Lunch, which is like your personal assistant when it comes to dating.

This app allows you to select a contact, schedule a date, and even record notes and reminders about the date right in the app. Don’t just ask for a date- plan it!

Dating app fatigue is a real thing, so if you’re exhausted with the online dating scene and ready to get back to the old-school way of meeting people, give these tips a try. You might just meet the love of your life.

Want more dating tips? We are here to help. Our Split.fyi Community is a great place to ask questions and get resources, clarity, and build caring connections.

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Essential Resources

If you’re facing legal/custody battles, a mental health crisis, an urgent medical issue, serious emotional problems, including suicidal thoughts, please seek help from the appropriate professionals near you.

Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Crisis line: 1-800-356-5395
Crisis text line: Text “help” to 741741
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)

Split.fyi Resources
Split.fyi Marital Life Inventory
Divorce Lifecycle Document
Divorce Process Overview

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