As if a case of the Mondays doesn’t need any more heavyweight to it, the world currently proclaims the first Monday in the new year as Divorce Day. If this isn’t enough, in some legal circles the entire month of January has become known as Divorce Month. So it has been established that Divorce Day, the first Monday in January begins Divorce Month. But why? This declaration is based on a sharp increase in divorce filings. Now that the holidays have passed, couples headed toward divorce see the New Year as an opportunity to try and start anew.
The holidays tend to slow down the separation process. Separating spouses are typically hesitant to announce plans for a divorce. They don’t want to rattle their families or upset the children during the holidays. Balancing work with family and spending time with loved ones, are much-needed endeavors for us all during this time. But it doesn’t cover up the fact that things are off track in a marriage.
When the ball drops in Times Square and the holiday magic dissipates, we start to look at the first of the year just like we do every other day. According to statistics, divorce filings can increase as much as 26-30% during January alone. The New York Times states that a Google Trends search for “divorce” last year, shows that searches for information on this topic tend to peak the last week of December, with another noticeable spike from January 6th through the 12th.
One can only imagine what the January 2021 statistics will look like after the stresses marriages have gone through throughout 2020. If it’s time, it’s time. Time to get your lives in order. Not just for your family’s sake, but for your own peace of mind as well.
Have you taken the steps to see if counseling and therapy can help save the marriage?
Keeping communication open is key in every relationship. If you are still in the initial stages of redefining your relationship with your spouse, find out if it’s worth working on yourselves for the betterment of the union. If the one on one conversations have broken down and you can’t see eye to eye, make sure to seek professional help such as coaching and therapy. While couples therapy is a key element to exploring what is left in a relationship, it’s advised you also seek professional help for yourself. This allows both of you to work on what you need to, and to continue to communicate with your spouse clearly. Seeking therapy for yourself will give you a more focused perspective on where you are through all this. Use this as an opportunity to better yourself while on this path.
Brace yourself for your shifting of finances.
If you already have taken the steps above to seek the professional help of a therapist, are unable to find common ground in co-parenting, and you find yourself on a one-way street headed towards a messy divorce, you need to start organizing your financials and belongings accordingly. Chances are your soon-to-be ex-spouse is well on their way in this process. Staring at your accounts, belongings, and house you have built together can be daunting. But it is imperative you do not drop the ball in the planning. Make sure you start making an inventory of what you have and prepare yourself for the financial ramifications of your separation. Speak with a trusted advisor or professional to help get your things in order.
Make sure you reach out to your people.
Going through a divorce can be a massive hit to your ego, self-esteem, and value of self-worth. You may feel at times like you are going at it alone. Always remember that you have your people there for you; family and friends you can reach out to, to help you through these tough times. They can offer you different perspectives and points of view, or just be the support of friendly stability to lean on.