Many people face the reality of having to return to the workforce after an extended absence from raising children and supporting the household environment. This can be particularly challenging when this individual is in a low-paying position or the industry that they work in has materially changed while they stepped away. It is also emotionally and logistically hard to pivot from being a full-time stay-at-home parent to a working parent with a different parenting schedule. It is a lot of change to process and manage for yourself and your children. We’ve been there ourselves- hiring the drivers, hiring the nanny, looking for after-school care and summer options, and giving up the position of being the first line of defense after a rough day at school. It is so tough on the heartstrings!
Clients come to us with the conundrum and belief system that childcare will cost more than they can earn and that their support will be dramatically impacted by the wages they earn. We would like to challenge some of that thinking.
- If your children are school age you are typically not paying money during school hours, those are usually a full 6 hours of wage-earning hours. So worst case you hire someone to drive your kids or be with them until you get home and you pay the same wage as you earn until you come home from work you are still ahead by those school day hours.
- Wages that you earn do not reduce your support dollar for dollar. Have a divorce professional (e.g. your mediator, attorney, paralegal) run the child support calculator with you earning money and not earning money to see what the actual difference would be to you. Same for spousal support, if applicable in your state. You will usually still be ahead earning the income and many states will impute income at minimum wage so again, you are better off earning that money rather than just having a percentage reduction for those phantom wages.
- In hindsight when clients do the work to get back into the workforce they come to us with excitement at earning their own income and starting their path forward in their next chapter. There is pride in making “their own money” and setting an example for their kids.
Here are a few ways to help diffuse the expense of managing kids schedules versus a work schedule:
- Work with a career coach or recruiter who understands and knows how to find opportunities for working parents. They do exist!
- Trade childcare with other parents you know. It is a win-win for both families. This can be really helpful during the summers, weekends, or vacation times.
- Set up carpools for school and other activities.
- See if your state requires the other parent to pay half of the childcare expenses while the custodial parent is working. Do remember though that this goes both ways so you may be paying for childcare while your ex is working.
- If you do share childcare costs then look at hiring the same person. Guaranteeing more hours can reduce the hourly rate and usually attracts higher quality people that will stay with you for longer stints supporting your kids because they aren’t managing multiple employers. We find that consistency of care across both households for kids is really good for them too.
So, net-net if you have the opportunity to get back into the workforce during the divorce process please take it. You will not only be financially ahead but emotionally as well.
